Promises That I Probably Won't Keep

Most people make New Years' Resolutions. I did not make any this year. Know why? Cuz just like everyone else on the planet, I never keep them.

This year on NYE, I was in bed by 11 pm because I had to get up early the next morning. At 6 am. That's like torture. The sun is not even up then. I'm not supposed to be up then either. It's not natural. Sorry for those of you who get up that early. I used to. But now that I'm a happily kept woman, I don't have to except when I go see my son. And that weekend I went to see my son. And I was all alone, because MM was at work. So I brought in the new year by going to bed early, with no man in my bed, and no resolutions to make. It makes it much easier to start the new year when you know you aren't going to let yourself down.

I do hope to better keep up with my blog though. I don't know how much I will post on the other one because, let's face it, there's only so many posts of "had a great visit with my son" type of posts that people want to read. However, life with MM has been interesting on a daily basis.

For example, the other night after some of the Awesome Sex, MM decided he was thirsty. He came back into the bedroom with a Mt. Dew. Of course it came out of the fridge. He decided to stick it on my back. After me being all satisfied and stuff. Well he couldn't just try to stick that cold ass can on my back once. He had to do it more than once. Like a zillion times. I was wiggling all around trying to keep that can off my back. I flung my hand around my back to ward off an attack. Suddenly, Mt. Dew is spraying EVERYWHERE! And I do mean everywhere. Being as we were still naked, washing it off us wasn't so hard, but it was all over the sheets, the blankets, the pillows, the walls, the curtains, the carpet, and even the t.v. halfway across the room. Apparently when I flung my hand around, I caught my ring on the can and ripped a hole in it. Who'd-a thunk it? It's not like it's a monster sized ring. It's just a regular size.

So after having some late night, cuddle before you sleep type satisfying sex, we had to get up and clean the entire bedroom. Oh, but it doesn't end there....

While we were cleaning up the room is when I realized that the tv had been sprayed as well. I grabbed my sweatshirt that was laying on the floor to wipe the drops off the screen. Then what do I do? Wellll, so glad you asked. I made another mess. I have a couple of candles on top of the tv. One is a small vase with blue pebbles (you know the ones that go in the bottom of the fish tank), and has a tealight in the vase on top of the pebbles. Yeah, I dumped it off the back of the t.v. So now not only do we have drying Mt. Dew all over the bedroom, we now have little blue pebbles all over the place. I did the only thing I could do. I left it there. I walked away and left the mess. I wanted a cigarette. I went out to the living room as we don't smoke in the bedroom. I sat my ass down in the rocking chair and lit my cigarette. At one point when I went to flick my ashes in the ash tray, I knocked my hand into the can of Diet Pepsi and knocked it over. Fortunately, I did catch the can before it tipped all the way over. It did not spill, but made me figure I should go to bed before I spilled the can or the ashtray. I smashed out my cigarette. I went to the bedroom and crawled into bed. I decided that i needed the end the day before I did something else to make a mess. It worked. I didn't make any more messes that night.

You ever have one of those days that you make mess after mess, but you can't help but laughing? At least we can keep laughing.

Not Your Traditional Thanksgiving Post

Instead of stating all the things I am thankful for today, I am going to post about the things that piss me off.

Why do the stores have to be open today? Why do they have to make all those poor employees work instead of allowing those store clerks to home with their family?

What is it with the spoiled brats that are masqueraded as children these days? Is it the parents fault only or is it the parents and media combined? I know that it is the sense of entitlement that most people have these days, but come on you little shitholes, behave and be happy for what you have instead of wanting more, more, more.

I saw a show on tv the other day and it made my skin crawl and made me get super stabby. The show was about these women that had lots of kids, at least four, sometimes as many as eight. And the women on the show were all bitching and moaning because they had all boys. The poor little bitchy princesses wanted to have a little baby princess. WTF? What happened to thinking that every child was a blessing? What happened to just being happy you could have kids? What happened to just being happy that you had your children in your life every day? What is wrong with those women that they got depressed to the point of causing unrepairable damage to their marriages because the poor husbands Y chromosome spermies were the only ones that got there. And the poor boys that felt that they weren't good enough because they had the misfortune of being born male? What mega-bitches. Get over yourselves.

Why does cat shit smell so bad? Scratch that. Why does the male cat shit smell so bad? My girlie cat can take a shit and I don't smell it while I'm sitting in the living room. When one of the boy-o cats takes a shit, the whole place stinks.

What about you? What gets under your skin on this thankful day?

Randomness Today

It's Random Tuesday and I have not done this in a long time. Head on over to Keely's to get the rest of the randomness. 

Here goes with my crazy randomness. I hope no guys are reading this, it may be TMI, even for women. Be prepared.......

I hate PMS. I get it worse every single month. Except the past two months. I get it worse every two weeks. WTF is up with that? I don't need a bout of PMS and another period. I just had one a little over two weeks ago.  And two weeks before that. And about three weeks before that. I know some of it was stress over my hearing, but, seriously, do I really need another one just because the holidays are upon us? Dear body, I know that in years gone past, you thought that I needed a period every year on Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I just had one. Or more. So let it go.

My boobies hurt like nobody's business. My abdomen hurts right behind and below my belly button. I have been constipated and gassy like something is rotting in there. I have had a headache every day for the last three days. WTF. I am ready for this period to start. I'd rather bleed than have more PMS right now. 

I also keep crying. Over stupid shit. (See PMS.) Then laughing hysterically the next thing as Mail Man tries cheering me up. So, I am laughing through my tears. That's how it's supposed to be though, right?

My cat shit on the bathroom floor. Well, on the rug actually. We usually don't let them into the bedroom, but I was really tired today so I decided to take a nap and let the kitties lay down with me. Instead, one comes in, shits on the rug and none of them laid down with me. Shitheads. See if I let them in again. 

I have eaten an insane amount of food lately. I am starving. I don't have specific cravings. It's more of a "everything sounds good' and eat all day sort of thing. So much so, that last night when we went to bed, I thought I was going to throw up because my stomach was so full. I have the pea brain of a dog. Don't stop eating when you are full, stop eating when there is no food left. I'm a retard lately. (Please don't take that as a disrespect. I'm just saying my brain is not functioning this week.)

I'm reading a Dean Koontz book right now. It is the fourth book in his Odd Thomas series. I have read it before, but don't have any of his new books yet, so I am stuck reading the ones I already have. I heart DK books. 

I made some vegetable soup that was full of Awesome. Let me tell you. I could eat the whole crock pot. And I tried. Until I thought I was going to be sick again. So I actually did stop eating. See, not entirely brain dead yet. 

MM and I had a fun day yesterday. I miss him when he's gone. I also miss the sexy. I need the sexy. Especially right now. I'm thinking it may be related to the aforementioned PMS. 

I found that Charmed is on tv on our cable service every night at six and seven. I am in love with our cable now. I love Charmed. 

I also love NCIS. 

Gotta go. I need some chocolate. Or anything. I'm hungry again. 

Go visit Keely and all her friends who are feeling random today

I Suck

Apparently bowling is still not my strong suit. I did manage one strike out of the three games and two spares. Some of the time I was happy just to not have a gutter ball! Even the kids beat my score! Of course, they had this fabulous thing that they could put the ball on and just push it off so it would roll down the lane. And they had the little bumper things so that they could not get gutter balls. And they lost interest after the first game. There were some arcade games there that were all shiny and beepy and lit up and noisy. They were much more exciting than waiting your turn to roll the ball down the lane.

 But I did not fall down. I came close one time, but managed to keep my balance. I was so proud of myself. In fact, two of the little kids fell down, but I am proud to say I had more grace than the three and five year old. That is quite the accomplishment in my book.

We had a pretty good time. The pizza was good and the bowling was fun. I just wish that Mail Man could have been there. I went with some friends of mine (a couple) and a couple that they are friends with. Fortunately, I did not feel like a fifth wheel. Everyone was really nice. It just would have been more fun if I had been part of a couple as well. Then I would have had someone to kiss when I made my strike! I'll just have to kiss him when he gets home. I'm pretty sure Mail Man will be ok with that. :)

I also had no idea just how expensive bowling has become. I don't remember exactly what it cost to bowl 15 years ago, but I was broke as a joke back then, so if we could all afford to bowl, it had to be cheap. I do remember that it cost more to eat than to bowl. Of course the alcohol cost more than the bowling, but what fun to bowl and drink at the same time. It makes the challenge of not gutter balling (hee hee, that just sounds naughty) all that much more fun. Alas, no alcohol last night. Sadly, it was still a challenge to keep my balls out of the gutter! (There's that naughtiness again!)

So what fun things did you get up to this wonderful weekend?

Well, Mail Man has been wonderful to me these past few days. I don't know that I could have made it through without him. My mom came for the hearing, stayed for the visit, but obviously had to go back home. He calls and checks on me, sends me texts, and just generally has been the support that I have needed recently. I am so thankful that I have him.

I am also thankful that we found some good friends down here in Hickville. They have conspired with Mail Man to get me out of the house while Mail Man is at work, so I don't have to sit at home by myself.

He also hasn't picked his nose or anything like that. Gosh, such stellar behavior from him. No phleghm (that is such a strange word, to say and to spell) coming my way. Even though with the heat on at night we are both still waking up stuffy. I think it's just about time to get out the humidifier.

I don't have time for a long post today. They are taking my for pizza and bowling. It has been about 15 years or so since I bowled last. We shall see just how awful I still am. I will update soon to let you all know if I am just as graceless as I used to be! I can trip over some dust and am just not all that coordinated, so bowling was always a bit of a challenge for me. But what better way to get over feeling bad, than to go make a fool out of myself? It should be fun.

Here's hoping life is treating you well. (Lifts my glass to you.)

Recovering Economy and Phlegm

Whoever said the economy is improving is on crack. I have some highly marketable skills on my resume, but in six months have not had a single job lead. Well, I had an interview, but they "added" duties to the job that are not duties that I am interested in. More accurately, I am interested in my safety and the "added" duties could seriously jeopardize my safety. So no job. I have been submitting applications for six months, and quite intensively for the last couple. Not so much as a bite. BUT, the economy is swell.

Fortunately, an income from me is not needed. It would be nice, and would really help my case, but I am looking.

I could get a job at a gas station or something like that, but not sure that would help me much either. Plus, we are down to just my car. Mail Man's truck broke down, so we took it to a friend of his to have a look at it. The good news is we made to him. Bad news is the motor is blown. So no more truck. Makes my job hunting a little problematic when three days out of the week, I need to have about three hours off to go home and get him, drive him to the yard, then drive back to work. I'm sure that will go over well with a prospective employer. Then I need about a week and a half off in November when I have my hearing and get my son back (fingers crossed). I'm sure that will be on the top of any employers list to hire someone, then give them time off. So, for the time being, I am assuming that if I was meant to have a job, I would have found it. When I am meant to find it I will. Or not. If, When not if, when not if. WHEN I get my son back, I will just go back to school to get my degree. Mail Man and I talked about that the other day. So we are not worrying about it too much. He makes enough to live on. The extra income would be nice, but hey, we've survived so far. We'll survive if I don't find a job. In the meantime, I just keep looking.

Bonus, if I don't find a job, I get to be a stay at home mom. Or (future) wife. Depends I guess on the hearing. I will have time to do all the things that I never had time to do before. Well, I have had time in the past few months, but you know what I mean. Plus, by being home all day, I get to be home when Mail Man is home. He leaves in the early afternoon and is gone all night. If I was working, I would not see him except one day a week in the evening. It would be like when I still was a Yankee in location as well as heart.

Those days were not nearly as fun as the days are now. For example, the other day, we both woke up a bit stuffy from having to turn the heat on at night. Knowing how grossed out I am by phlegm, Mail Man proceeds to dig out a big nasty green booger out of his nose. Makes me want to gag just thinking about it. Then he chases me to the bedroom acting like he is going to wipe it all over me. We laugh and wrestle around and generally just have a fine time. Even if the booger was hanging over me. He is not really that gross, and doesn't usually make it a habit to pick his nose, but he was just torturing me. Now where else could I have that kind of fun? He is a guy, though, so he is a bit gross. At least to this gal. (Yes, he washed his hands.)

And I can keep making my home made butter delivery system. (bread) And go shopping any time I want to. Sounds like the ideal life. If I liked to shop anyway. At least I will have the bread to keep me busy and sane.

So, how's life treating you?

Feeling Stabby?

Ever have one of those days when you are feeling stabby murderous cranky and would like to stab someone in the eye throttle them spend some time away from everyone? Yeah, me too. But not too worry folks. I have found an alternative to embarking on a murderous rampage help you feel better.

Of all things, I have found that making bread does that for me. I know, I know. It takes so long. But let me tell you, that 10 minutes of kneading the dough? Wow. I just imagine the face of the person I'm currently wanting to kill pissed at on my ball of dough and go to work. And I'm multitasking. All that kneading is surely good for toning my arms. So next time I'm pissed at someone and want to choke them I have nice strong arms I wear a sleeveless shirt, maybe I will be able to tell a difference.

And I get to knead the dough twice. So I get to smash thier face in imagine I'm actually doing something two times! Yippee for me! Then I get to bake it. That home made fresh baked bread smell? It's good for bargaining. Be nice or I will eat the whole damned loaf myself while you watch. And you won't get any. See all that warm ooey gooey butter melting off the slice of warm from the oven bread. Heh. You don't get any.

See how that works, Ass?  I feel better already.