Friday, September 10, 2010

Feeling Stabby?

Ever have one of those days when you are feeling stabby murderous cranky and would like to stab someone in the eye throttle them spend some time away from everyone? Yeah, me too. But not too worry folks. I have found an alternative to embarking on a murderous rampage help you feel better.

Of all things, I have found that making bread does that for me. I know, I know. It takes so long. But let me tell you, that 10 minutes of kneading the dough? Wow. I just imagine the face of the person I'm currently wanting to kill pissed at on my ball of dough and go to work. And I'm multitasking. All that kneading is surely good for toning my arms. So next time I'm pissed at someone and want to choke them I have nice strong arms I wear a sleeveless shirt, maybe I will be able to tell a difference.

And I get to knead the dough twice. So I get to smash thier face in imagine I'm actually doing something two times! Yippee for me! Then I get to bake it. That home made fresh baked bread smell? It's good for bargaining. Be nice or I will eat the whole damned loaf myself while you watch. And you won't get any. See all that warm ooey gooey butter melting off the slice of warm from the oven bread. Heh. You don't get any.

See how that works, Ass?  I feel better already.


  1. Baking bread is good for the soul, especially if it keeps you out of hell for not breaking one of the 10 commandments. Plus, like corn, it's a butter delivery system. Bonus!

  2. Anything that delivers butter must come straight from Heaven.