Wha Not to Wear Part III

Okay, my sister is ready to choke me. I called and talked to her for a while again last night about my upcoming move. The church is ready for me to move on because they have some new ministry members coming in, and they would prefer to give them my house. That way the families have some place to stay while they are looking for a home. I'm kind of feeling rushed here. Hurry up and get the fuck out. They would never actually say that, cuz they are too polite, but it is what they are thinking and wanting. So, now I have to pack and get cleaned out and make the house spic and span. The original plan was to demolish the house when I moved, but apparently now they want to use it longer. If they were going to demolish it, I was not going to spend a lot of time cleaning, because, obviously.

Sooo, I decided to bring up the idea of jeans for a wedding outfit again. She huffed and puffed and told me no way. My response? "Okay, I will wear a dress. I looked at Target like you told me too. I found a dress I really liked. I also found a bunch that looked really awful on these saggy nursed a baby boobies." Sis got all excited that I found a dress. "Ooohhhh, what does it look like?  What color is it?" So of course I had to tell her it was a slip dress with spaghetti straps and a sheer dress (for lack of a better word) that goes over it. It is still short sleeves, and it has a scoop neck on it. I really like it. So I bought it. Again she wanted to know what color it was, because, oh she saw this dress that was this color and that dress that was that color......
"I will wear a dress if I can wear this black one."

"YOU CAN'T WEAR A BLACK DRESS TO GET MARRIED IN!"

Yes, I got yelled at, just like I thought. Then I started cracking up since I knew that was exactly what I thought would happen. She was only slightly annoyed at me. Then I told her to dress the girls up in party dresses and fancy shoes and I would go back to wearing jeans. She huffed at me and changed the subject.
I don't understand why.

Then as I was telling MM last night, he changed his mind. I can't wear jeans. I have to wear a dress. I am pretty sure I know exactly why he wants me to wear a dress. Typical man. He gets to wear jeans, but I have to wear a dress. I informed him that he was wrong and if he could put on jeans to get married in, so could I dammit. He was having none of it last night. Kept telling me he was the man and not to argue with him. I'll set him straight. (He was laughing while he was telling me this so it wasn't really being a high-handed sexist attitude.) I guess I'll have to work on him some this weekend to get him round to my view.  Maybe find some jeans that look super good that he will want me to wear all the time. Show off my ass or something. He told me no again.

So, I did what any rational level headed female would do. I informed him I would go naked, and that would solve the arguement of what I would wear. Put my whole body out there for the entire world to see. He just laughed at me. I am pretty sure he did not believe me. Maybe I'll wear my bathing suit. That'll show'em all. At least it is not made out of jean material and it is not black. Satisfies all the requirements laid down by my sister and MM.